At Self-Esteem Team we know that confidence isn't something you're born with or something that just falls from the sky. We know that everyone has to work on their self esteem to create a strong foundation or to maintain one that's already there. So with that said. . . how?

The Self-Esteem Team's Guide to Sex, Drugs and WTFs?!!

The Self-Esteem Team's Guide to Sex, Drugs and WTFs?!!

Here's our top 9 tips (for you mind, body and soul) to having concrete confidence:


Let's start at the very beginning, your brain is where you have to live, day in day out, so it's important to ensure your mind is happy. We think there are three sure fire ways to do this.

1. Question:

Asking questions about yourself and the world around you leaves you free to learn who you are or decide weather you buy into what's going on. That could be asking why an ad campaign uses a particular celebrity or why you never pluck up the courage to make it to that workout/book club/or fav restaurant if your friend cancels. Once you've figured out the answer you're ready for phase two. . .

2. Challenge:

Yourself and/or the world around you. After you've asked questions one of the most empowering things to do is make a change. Maybe within yourself or within your environment, either is valuable. pushing yourself to do something that makes you nervous will result in a great sense of achievement. Helping to spark a change in the wider community will provide long term goals and an understanding that we all have influence and a chance to make the world better for ourselves or those around us.

3. R&R:

In our world that means reflect and relax. After all that thought and change it's important to take some time to evaluate how things felt, to pat yourself on the back and to take the pressure off. Do something a little more within your comfort zone with friends or family and revel in how much confidence you've gained!


Having a healthy mind is important but if your body is where your brain lives the two have to work together to succeed. So all together now: eat, sleep, rave, repeat.

4. Eat:

With all the advice flying at us left, right and centre about what we should and shouldn't eat it's easy to get bogged down and not know what tips to follow. We do not believe in adding to this merry-go-round of do's and don'ts but think that this one handy tip will help cut through the lot of them. Listen to your body. Most of the time it will tell you what it likes and what it doesn't. If you're eating the wrong things it can effect not only your skin, hair and attitude (all of which have a huge bearing on your confidence) but also your sleep which is the king pin in cognitive function. In short, eating stuff your body doesn't thank you for makes it harder for you to do numbers 1-3 effectively. So listen to your body after each meal. If you become bloated, sleepy, hot or hyperactive after eating particular foods avoid them for a week and see what happens.

5. Sleep:

As I said sleep is the king pin in cognitive function. Unlike the rest of your body the only time your brain can clean itself (yep, that's a thing!) is at night, when you're sleeping. It's also the time that your muscles repair themselves. Essentially without good sleep your brain will become cloudy and your muscles won't maintain strength in order to help you engage in the things you love to do. These two things are key to the confidence game. So, if you wake up tired every single morning try and create more space in your life for sleep. If that's not possible, make sure the sleep you do have is good stuff. Prep your brain and body each night with a sleep routine - the same same drink, particular lighting and activities within the hour before bed will help your body wind down because it knows sleep is on the way - as soon as your head hits the pillow you'll be out like a light. Also only use your bed for sleeping in (oooh matron!) but seriously, make sure your brain knows that once you're there that's the only activity you'll be indulging in, step away from the smart phone and get some shut eye.

6. Rave:

Down time, whatever form it takes, is when we're close to the people we care about and the time in which we can be most natural selves. Be active, eat good food, dance, be creative, soak up some sun or camp in the rain. Our brains blossom when our bodies are nurtured and good old fashioned fun is at the core of this. Not to mention the fact that having stories to tell about your weekend at work will be a great way to make new friends - another great way to boost confidence.


Pretty sure you've got this one all tied up.


We're all different, what floats your boat will sink someone else's. Another key to self esteem is understanding what you like,what you don't, why and why not. Getting the balance of pushing yourself, comforting yourself and understanding other people just right will keep your confidence in check. So it's time for something old, something new and something borrowed.

7. Old:

We all have old faithfuls that soothe our soul be that food, people or slippers. Knowing what comforts you and taking time to enjoy it is just as important as pushing yourself to do new things. Revel in the quality time you have with your old faithfuls to keep your soul buoyant.

8. New:

Experiences are where we learn most about ourselves. Knowing yourself is the way to true confidence, once you know your strengths other people's aren't intimidating, once you know your weaknesses you know what to work on and can spot them in other people too so no one appears infallible. Do something you've always wanted to do, it could be art, comedy, sport or music related, it really doesn't matter as long as you make sure you know how you felt about it.

9. Borrowed:

One of my favourite lyrics is:

'I walked a mile in your shoes, now I'm a mile away and I've got your shoes' because

a) it encompasses the idea of getting to know someone else's story.

b) it also acknowledges that the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

c) I'm a die hard Kings of Leon fan.

Borrow a life experience from someone else - live it or ask them to tell you the story, practice empathy, gaining an understanding of other people can help us understand ourselves and as we're sure is evident by now. That's is the key to confidence.