Anonymous asks:

Hello, I have been with my boyfriend for two years now and things have been great. 

However, recently I have been questioning my sexuality due to an experience with another female friend after a night out. 

Things escalated after a few drinks and now I think I’ve been living a lie for the majority of my life. 

My partner has no idea of the graphic experience and I would prefer not to say what happened that night, but things got rather intense and passionate. 

My friend is also seeing a man, but she said it was only a girly thing and they just happen. 

The odd part is I feel connected with her as more than just friends, how can I tell my partner.

I’m no longer interested in him and I desire my close friend? Thank you.


Clarissa Bloom says: You are certainly not the first person that has spoken to me about this subject.

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

It can be a deeply confusing and frustrating situation. We grow up in society thinking we're one thing, only to find out we've no idea who we truly are. What you need to remember is many people don't realise they are gay or bisexual until much later in life, not everyone follows the supposed protocol of knowing from birth. Take some time to work out your feelings, your emotions, your attractions and how you feel as an individual. If you feel that you don't recognise as purely 'straight' anymore, then be open and honest with him that you believe you're attracted to women, but you don't need to go deep into detail. 

Something that has happened in a couple of relationships is the partner will try to talk them out of it, convincing them that they're not actually gay. This is because they don't want the relationship to die, so be polite in how you handle it, but don't let them convince you to be something you're not. Remember that you didn't trick him, nobody is to blame and there is nothing wrong with who you are, you need to show compassion when letting them know, but don't feel guilty.

Clarissa Bloom is Relationship & Dating Expert for

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