Should I cheat on my partner?
Hello, I have a dilemma that I am really struggling with.
I have been with my partner for 5 years, we have a beautiful daughter together and I love them both very much.
Our relationship is okay but our sex life is non existent.
My partner has a very, very low sex drive compared to my high one.
I'd love to be more intimate with them but I've tried everything for the last few years. Talking, engaging, giving them space but they have made it clear they have no interest in sex whatsoever.
I have the opportunity to have sex with a co-worker. I'm enjoying our flirty talk with each other and really want to go all the way.
I truly do love my partner and don’t want to hurt them.
I know with this co-worker there is no way she could find out, we've agreed that if we do it we would both keep it quiet and it wouldn't become a full blown affair or relationship.
My head says do it. My heart says don't. I'm really stuck.
Sex and relationship expert Jessica Leoni said: “One of the biggest causes of relationship break-ups that I see is through mismatched sex drives - so you are by no means on your own. Sex is the glue that keeps all good relationships together and when it dries up against the wishes of one half of the relationship you are both heading for trouble. There will be no happy ending here unless your partner’s attitude changes and they become more accommodating when it comes to sex. It is easy to be wise after the event but why did you commit to your partner when you must have known that sex was going to be an issue in future? I appreciate that passion would have been more intense in the first flushes of love but you must have known you were heading for problems.
“I would not normally recommend that someone starts an affair, particularly when there is the welfare of a young child to consider, but I think you are likely to sleep with your co-worker whatever I say. I would be sorely tempted if I was you, too. Don’t think there will be no consequences for either you or your workmate. No strings sex is rarely just that - and I suspect that one or both of you will develop an attachment after you have made love. That could well be you - threatening your relationship with the mother of your child. That jolt might be what the relationship needs because the current situation is unsustainable. You need to sit down with your partner and tell them that you cannot go on as you are. Say that an affair is inevitable if they do not change. If they say that they still won’t change, then I would have that affair and assess where to go next afterwards.”
Jessica is a sex and relationship expert for the dating site, IllicitEncounters.com
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